Encouragement is Healthy for the soul

You know, when you become a mother you dream about how things will be. How things will be different. How life will change. Is it a boy or girl? What will they look like? Are they going to be loud and obnoxious like their mother(I got that one)? Or quiet and to themselves like their father? Can we afford it? How are we going to take vacations? When the baby delivers, will everything go right(that was a big one for me)? I worried so much about something happening the entire time I was pregnant. I remember feeling so uptight the majority of the time I had to cut back on work.

Most girls have their mother not too far in distnace. I on the other hand am one that doesn't. Let me tell you, Things would have been much easier for me had we been closer in distance. Talking on the phone is just not quite the same.

This is a goofy photo of my mother, daughter and I. We had spent some time together back a couple of years ago because she had traveled not too far from where we live. I always find encouragement, confidence, and affirmation when being around my mother. Not insecurities, doubt, or low self esteem. Don't young mother, or first time mothers, have enough to worry about? Having someone in your life that makes you feel like you aren't doing something quite right just because you aren't doing things the way they think you should, or the way they would is enough to make you throw the towel in. I think some people forget how it feels to be a first time parent.

I myself had to navigate through the emotional, hormonal, life altering, energy sucking, wonderful change that came into our lives. I don't even remember what life was like without this kid! But there were some serious mountains I had to climb to get where I am now.

There was the bout of postpartum depression that just about every woman after birthing a child goes through. It was December 2014. I had it in my head we were visiting my family for Christmas that year 1300 miles away, a couple of months after having a baby. When that didn't happen, and I had to continue to go to work(although I was able to bring my daughter with me to work at the time) It was a very dark time in my life. It seemed to me "how am I going to get through this?" I thought every scenario possible to get my little family to New Mexico. It was such a let down for me. I eventually opted for Easter in the spring.

Along the way as I went through that dark time my mother prayed for me, my cousin prayed for me. They both encouraging me to look up, try and see the good in the situation. The above photo is quite a treasure for me, being it was a couple of months after my emotional break down.
That was just one of the many hurdles I've had placed in my life since becoming a mother.

A few weeks ago I was in line at the store (after spending 18 hours on the road and us needing groceries). A gentleman came up behind me in line. I noticed he only had a few items. I suggested he go ahead of me. He politely declined. We chatted a little while waiting in line. He was the kindest man. I'm sure I looked awfully weary, however, the pregnant check out girl seemed a bit more weary. I said my normal 'please and thank you's' and made sure to be kind and smile at her. Often we feel general politeness is enough to make someone's day. As I stood there waiting to gather my change from the girl the gentleman leaned into her and told her "you have a very nice smile. To be smiling at this hour while you are working really says something about a person". She was not smiling. She was tired. But after the man complimented her, she couldn't help but smile. If I had had a stranger compliment or encourage me in my up hill climb to motherhood my days would have been different I am sure. I most certainly learned a lesson that night in the check out.

Unless you have good emotional support, or you are super woman, the only option we have is surrounding ourselves with supportive, uplifting, and encouraging people when it comes to big life changes like having a child. Who are we kidding! We cannot do it alone. We may try, but there is a reason why we fail. We are not meant to be alone. Physical interaction, eye to eye contact is something we need. It is important.

I strongly encourage you to get out and find those emotionally supportive and encouraging people. You may already have those people. Utilize them. Encourage in return! Kind words and compliments can go a lot further than general politeness!

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